The Lay of the Land (5): The Right Foundation

When you start building house on the wrong foundation and figure it out in the process, you don’t finish it that way. It is difficult and sets back the work but it is better than having a house that won’t last.

I don’t know who would say they would settle for multigenerational unfaithfulness but that is what is happening in the church of today. If we have been doing things in a way that can’t bring multigenerational faithfulness then will we do the work to bring a change?

Deuteronomy 6 gives a non-sophisticated blueprint. Anyone can do it. First you have to live it and then you can give it. Living God’s way and teaching God’s way every moment we live is simple yet it takes intent and commitment.

What has our commitment? It is frustrating to look back and know that we may have lost ground. Gather everyone together and call the past what it was and start laying the right foundation. Get into the fight and ask for help when you need it. Lay it all before the Father and let him guide you. Live it and give it.

The Lay of the Land (4): Give up or Get in?

(WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS STRONG STATEMENTS AND HARD QUESTIONS TO INVOKE CRITICAL CONSIDERATION OF THE ISSUES THEREIN.)

Whether you agree with the author or not about marriage, it is interesting that dating is starting earlier in the lives of young people and marriage ends up being later. Dating/courtship, whichever you choose, are precursors to marriage. If they are not precursors for marriage then they are precursors for fornication.

After a life well lived, what is the most rewarding memory? Is it the trips that were taken while single? Is it the traveling, freedom, etc? Rather, is it the 25, 30...50 years of commitment and faithfulness that were experienced with the wife of God’s favor.

Would you agree that we live in an anti-marriage culture? Do you think it is better to marry young? Why?

Overall there is a difference between China and America. In China the government says that you can have one child. In America the dream is that we can have two. It sounds like in both societies humanism is the victor. God said to multiply and fill the earth. Humanism says that we can’t because there is not enough food, water, land, etc. to handle the overpopulation that would occur. I am not sure we could overcome God’s power in creation with overpopulation. There is not doubt in scripture that God desired for his creation to be filled with His image.

Possibly parenting is an abhorrence because our culture has become more selfish. It is absolutely selfless to invest your life in another. Children are a blank slate. They bear our sinful nature yet they can be crushed by abuse or blessed by value, direction, purpose, and hope.

Mohler’s statement about rebellion against parenthood is a fulfillment of the rebellion against God and his design.

I can’t begin to consider which of my children I would give up for luxury, travel, automobiles, homes, etc. It is the most challenging and fulfilling journey that I could have ever imagined. The rewards of the investment has been unbelievable and I am just in the middle of the journey.

God is the one who opens and closes the womb. Birth-control is man’s way of preventing pregnancy. Do you think God’s people are even asking Him about the family HE dreamed for them or simply settling for what the cultural norm is?

How is it that people who profess Christ become skeptics and even critics of those who seek to “be fruitful and multiply?”

Whether God leads you to have 10 or 1, the question is where is your life’s most important investment? Why did you have 1 or even 10? What are you doing with your 1, 3, 5, 7, or 10 kids? Are you investing?

Do we give up and coast along with the culture or do we get into the life that God desires for us and live it to the fullest?

The Lay of the Land (3): Settling vs. Striving

Are we settling for the cultural expectation when it comes to education, teams, and time? When we settle, who pays the price? While many parents’ hearts are broken by their kids experiences, it is the kids who live the dysfunction and its consequences.

Welcome GREEKS! When parents say that education is the most important thing for their kids to get, it is assured that they have turned to the Greek mindset. Knowledge without context or conviction is like a loaded gun in a monkey’s hand. It’s going off and who knows in what direction? How does education compare to a relationship with God? Which do we invest more money or time into? That is a good indicator of what we believe is more important. By no means do we believe that our children should grow up uneducated but do we want educated kids without the godly fiber of conviction? The present situation in families, churches, and schools seems to be missing the mark.

Do the schools you and I send our kids to hold the view of the world that will prepare our kids for the kind of life that we desire for them to live? What alternatives or solutions are we open to?

GREEKS were into the betterment of man by athletic and intellectual prowess. While sports are benign in and of themselves, the culture that has arisen as part of the Greek mentality of athletics does not lend itself to the life that God would have us pursue in Him. Do we want our kids to live out the normal lifestyle of the average person in this culture? The greatest endeavor: man/woman of God or league champion?

I am afraid that Baucham is right about preparing our kids for divorce. Mini-marriages we call dating prepare our children to attain a level of commitment that should be reserved for that final mate of life. Is this the way we want to continue or do we desire to set a course that will prepare them for one relationship that will last for life and fulfillment that God desires for all of us?

Are we settled and satisfied with the status quo of our culture? Do we desire to prepare them for a godly life with a true foundation? What kind of changes does this desire and decision require?

The Lay of the Land (2): Man’s God vs. Man’s World

What are the most important titles you bear? Are the strategies, projects, plans and production the most important responsibilities in your life? It is hard to neglect family for these things but it happens all the time. If the most important title and impact rest at home then isn’t our walk with Christ in our homes the beginning of the most important responsibilities we have as men?

Baucham states, “It is my relationship with my wife and children that gives my walk with Christ legitimacy.” How do Matthew 22:34-40 & 1John 2:9-11 fit into your walk with your family?

Is there any way in which you could see yourself “teaching the Word to your family or leading them in family worship, disciplines, instructing and encouraging” them?

It bears out that most Christian families are operating in the “full-screen” rather than “wide-screen” mode. After reading these few pages would you concede that there is a great deal that we either ignorantly or inadvertently let slide when it comes to leading our families? Are we given to the cultural “perception” and “failing to question the status quo?”

I was surprised by my lack of realization that the party kids of youth were the ultimate partiers in college. Allowing kids to experiment as teens does not get it out of their system it only wets their appetite for more.

I cannot prevent their bad choices later in life but I can give them the right foundation to be able to make the best choices possible when the time comes. Many have fallen prey to the dangerous behavior of “trading in the Biblical standard for a cultural norm.”

What was the approach your parents took with you? What approach are you taking with your kids? Does God have a plan for the way you bring up his images that have been given to you to raise in partnership with Him?

The Lay of the Land (1): Christian Norms?

Do our children and young people know the difference between survival and pursuit? Do they know the difference between “virginity and purity?” Do they know the difference between being a man/woman of God and a culturally acceptable man/woman?

It is interesting and not surprising at all that many young people are speechless when it comes to an understanding or expectation concerning Biblical manhood and plans for marriage. Most are dismissive in ignorance and regretful when understanding arrives.

When we think of 8(or 9) of 10 Christian teens walk away from a Biblical faith into college, does this speak about the church or the home? When a belief in absolute truth is held by only 15% of “born again teens,” who has had the largest impact upon them? By most teens leaving their faith behind after the youth group and leaving home possibly indicating that they were spectators, at the most, to the Christian life. As most teens espouse inclusive, pluralistic and individualistic views of religious truth, this seems to demonstrate that the media and secular humanism are the foundation of belief that they are buying into.

Is there truth to the verse in our day? “They went out from us, but they were not really of us; for if they had been of us, they would have remained with us; but they went out, so that it would be shown that they all are not of us.” 1John 2:19. How can you tell whether your kids are “going through the motions” and “saying what they have been conditioned to say?” Do you think at any point we possibly “manipulated” our children into responding the way we want/need them to?

Have you noticed the alarming trend? Are you ready to look for the mutigenerational faithfulness that God calls us to?

Family Driven Faith: Introduction

As we enter our second season of this year’s reading, we will be working though the Family Driven Faith by Voddie Bachaum Jr. This is going to be an intense journey of evaluating our backgrounds, upbringing and future plans for our families.

One key issue that I am looking for as we discuss what we read is, “Have we passed the buck of raising our children to the church or the educational system?” It will be interesting to see how we work through this question. It is not the question of the book but as I think through and read, this is the question that has popped into my mind.

I look forward to really gaining an understanding of a godly home and Biblically-based mindset of raising kids. The challenging thing is that you don’t have to wonder where this author stands. Whether we agree with everything he writes or proposes, the real question is where do each of us stand and is the scripture the foundation of our stand or our experience, upbringing and culture?

So I challenge you to journey through this season together and let us challenge/test/evaluate our upbringing, cultural assumptions, present practice and future plans for our families. Will you man-up to the challenge or coast to the difficulty?

We meet on May 16, 2010 at 5:30 pm and we are reading the Introduction –Third Chapter before that night.

Learning Generosity: Free from the love of money

It is interesting how money is such a defining reality in our lives. Our relationship with money is a key indicator of our relationship with God.

In his study Getz points to the reality that God talks more about material possessions in His word than any other subject than Himself.

Do you think it is true that most people are lovers of money?

All of the aspects of Jesus teaching are about our relationship to God, the Father. Yet the question of love for God or money is probably the most challenging for people. Do Christians lay up for themselves treasure on earth or in heaven? What about the church?

I like Hebrews 13:5. “…being content with what you have…”

Also Dt. 6:10-12 “…then watch yourself, that you do not forget the Lord…”

How do you deal with wealth in your relationship with God? Have you taken time to evaluate this area lately? Take time to consider the challenge this week.

Challenge: Consider the “Points of Action” and “Thinking and Growing Together” on pages “181-184.”

Being a Peacemaker: Peaceable [un-contentious]

Romans 12:18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.

“All of us at times fall somewhere on the contentiousness continuum, and for various reason.” Feelings of insecurity, abstinence, hurt, moodiness, or vengeance can be some of the reasons.

Even Paul was at odds with Barnabas in Acts 15, displaying insensitivity, intolerance and impatience.

Getz noted that even the “apostles” were in the process of becoming mature in Jesus Christ.

Jesus prayed for our unity in John 17 because left to ourselves, unity would be non-existent.

We become contentious for man reasons. Which do you relate to: Sin Nature, Bad role models, bad habits, insecurity, or bitterness?

Challenge: Consider the “Points of Action” and “Thinking and Growing Together” on pages “168-171.”

Interesting Read

http://baptistmessenger.com/perspective-thanks-mr-hume/

Treating Others Fairly: Gentle

Tom Landry interestingly was my favorite football coach. Mainly because I like the cowboys in that day but then I found out about his faith. Now to read about the way he worked with his players and the way in which they describe him.

Gentleness is not something that we strive to be known for. Most of the time it is equated with weakness. People desire gentleness. I think of how people resent and resist others when people come on extremely strong and rough. I think there is a time for each.

So many times when it is time for gentleness most fall short or never rise to the occasion and others end up without their needs being met.

How do you do it? Gentleness, that is. Fair is an interesting definition. Sensitivity to others in their given situation of need would be a good understanding.

Paul spoke a great deal about our need to be attentive to this reality. 1Timothy 3:3, 2Cor. 10:1, 1Cor. 11:1, Titus 3:1-5, Gal. 5:22-23, Eph. 4:1-2, Col. 3:12-13, 1Thess. 2:7, 2Tim. 2:24-25, 1Tim. 6:11

Challenge: Consider the “Points of Action” and “Thinking and Growing Together” on pages “155-158.”

Avoiding Destructive Behavior: Not Pugnacious

Wow! Cain, Moses, and David were never considered to have much in common. They have a big thing in common. Murder! We all kind of understand Cain (Abel). Moses (Egyptian) was confronted with an impossible situation. David (Uriah) was totally given to self. All three were wrong.

pugnacious: “bruiser, ready with a blow, a striker, anger our of control [resulting in] physical [violence]

Nazi’s are a perfect description of pugnacious. The description of Dinur’s feeling after seeing Eichmann at the Nuremburg trial is telling. Eichmann was just an ordinary man or engaged in planning and carrying out extraordinary violence. What are any of us capable of doing?

I was very struck by the statement that, “when self-respect is nonexistent, so is respect for others.” We have thought for years that abortion is true to the devaluing of life in our culture.

Have you ever considered that talking about others negatively to a variety of people is striking back at them although not physically?

In what relationships do you personally struggle with resentment?

Challenge: Consider the “Points of Action” and “Thinking and Growing Together” on pages “144-146.”

Handling Anger Appropriately: Not Quick-Tempered

Ephesians 4:26 “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger…”

Hmmm, so it’s okay to get angry. But it is not okay to stay angry. Anger is an emotion. God experiences anger. In His image we share this quality. We should not be ruled by anger.

What causes anger? Disappointment, frustration, failure, injustice, etc…

What causes quick anger responses in your life? Were you abused? Are you selfish? Did others model quick-tempered responses as you were growing up? Have you found it to be a quality way to manipulate others when you need them to change their behavior or attitudes? Do you utilize anger to get even with others?

Rom. 12:17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Prov. 22:24-25 Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.

Great Quote from this reading: “He needed to hear me share my anger in a direct but non-abusive way.” (Pg. 128)

Challenge: Consider the “Points of Action” and “Thinking and Growing Together” on pages “129-134.”

Overcoming Self-Centeredness: Not Self-Willed

Would you agree that most Christian men’s self-centeredness is sugarcoated by regular church & bible study attendance and speaking the religious language?

What do you think about Getz's statements about marriage? Self-centeredness is revealed by men’s egos or logic. Ego is a smokescreen for insecurity or weak self-image. Logic is the response because of the threat of dealing with negative feelings.

How do you feel about the idea of self-centeredness being a result of childhood? First, the spiritual side that a child is indulged and therefore becomes self-oriented in all things. Second, the psychological side that the child lives in such an overly-restrictive environment that they become so passive as to become inappropriately compliant.

Do you fall into the group that talks about the self-willed person or have you been faithful to confront in love? Does intimidation and fear of rejection keep you from faithfully reproving? Have you not taken the time because “what is the use?” Does this attitude demonstrate love?

Challenge: Consider the “Points of Action” and “Thinking and Growing Together” on pages “118-120.”

Being Moderate In All Things: Not Addicted to Wine

Prov. 23: 20 Do not be with heavy drinkers of wine, Or with gluttonous eaters of meat; 21 For the heavy drinker and the glutton will come to poverty, And drowsiness will clothe one with rags.

Prov. 23:29 Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has contentions? Who has complaining? Who has wounds without cause? Who has redness of eyes? 30 Those who linger long over wine, Those who go to taste mixed wine. 31 Do not look on the wine when it is red, When it sparkles in the cup, When it goes down smoothly; 32 At the last it bites like a serpent And stings like a viper. 33 Your eyes will see strange things And your mind will utter perverse things.

Eph. 5:18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit,

1Cor. 6:12 All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.

Rom. 14:21 It is good not to eat meat or to drink wine, or to do anything by which your brother stumbles.

Rom. 14:5b Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind.

What say ye? …to drink or not to drink? That is one question?

What is your thinking?

What is your personal experience?

How do you avoid judging?

How do you experience liberty?

Challenge: Consider the “Points of Action” and “Thinking and Growing Together” on pages “105-108.”

Communicating Sensitively: Able to teach

“But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels. The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth…” ^[1]

“A man who [can communicate sensitively] is a person who is not in bondage to himself. Rather, his true identity in Jesus Christ has enabled him to be in control of his mind and emotions.”

“A man who [can communicate sensitively] is self-controlled and convinced that the Word of God is true, but also understands the Scriptures sufficiently to be ‘able to both exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict’ (Titus 1:9)”

Do you think the reluctance of most Christian men in our culture to communicate sensitively the truth of Christ is the reason that it all seems to be falling apart?

Would you agree that we have relegated teaching to an act of the prepared, polished, and positioned in our culture?

Challenge: Consider the “Points of Action” and “Thinking and Growing Together” on pages “93-97.”

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^[1] 2 Ti 2:23

Sharing our Resources: Hospitable

Romans 12:13 Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. (NIV)

Hebrews 13:2 Do not neglect to ashow hospitality to strangers… (NAS95)

“The word ‘hospitable’ means being generous and caring toward others. This is why we call our medical centers ‘hospitals.’”

What is the key motivation that results in the action of hospitality?

What are some of the reasons to show hospitality?

What are some of the needs that are addressed by being hospitable?

How does hospitality have an impact for the kingdom of God?

Ponder…

Challenge: Consider the “Points of Action” and “Thinking and Growing Together” on pages “83-85.”

Making God’s Truth Attractive

Respectable. Getz presents that “a respectable man is a man who lives in such a way so that his total life adorns the teachings of the Bible.

Paul wrote to the Ephesians about behavior:
Eph. 4:1 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called,

Eph. 4:17 So this I say, and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their mind,

Eph. 5:1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; 2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

Eph. 5:7 Therefore do not be partakers with them; 8 for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light

Eph. 5:15 Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, 16 making the most of your time, because the days are evil.

Challenge: Take time to answer the “probing questions” and “listen to yourself” on pages 70-74.

Demonstrating Wisdom

Proverbs 16:21 “The wise in heart shall be called prudent.”

Prov. 1:3 “A wise man will hear and increase in learning.”

Prudent, sound judgment, sensible, etc.

Getz describes this reality from Paul’s encouragement to the Romans in 12:3. We must have the proper view of ourselves and God to be prudent.

Humility, Gratitude, and prayer are key indicators for Getz. Understanding what God has done for us brings a reality that results in a life of sound judgement.

Challenge: Work through the checklist on pages 62-63 and understand your imbalance when it comes to how you see yourself and God.

Living a Balanced Life

Interesting, a temperate man “has a clear focus on life and…doesn’t live in a constant state of anxiety because of world conditions.

In other words, the temperate man is one who trust and relies on Christ so that nothing depends on anything else. His life is measured by that relationship. His family, work, recreation, investment, future, etc. is fully dependent on His walk with Christ and not economy, health-care, achievement, etc.

It is interesting as well how Getz brings faith, hope, and love to be the hallmark attributes of the temperate man.

Take some extra time and review the “probing questions” and the “practical suggestions” that Getz makes on pages 52-53.

Maintaining Moral Purity

Something that we know but may not have applied to the conversation of moral purity is that in Christ the value system is completely opposite of that of the world and the flesh.

Of course from an Old Testament perspective there is a standard of purity and commitment to marriage to one spouse since the garden.

In the New Testament we see that Jesus raises the bar by challenging the worlds standard and going strait to the heart of the matter.

Have you ever considered that your relationship with your wife impacts your approach to temptation & lust and vice versa?

Have you ever made the commitment to stop viewing stimulating images in order to overcome the temptation of lust?

Have you ever developed any relationships with other men who through accountability could help you overcome the temptation of lust?

Building a Good Reputation

“I asked her directly if something in my life troubled her.” How do you think your kids, wife, or close friends would answer that question?

“Beyond reproach” or “good reputation” are interesting things to consider. How do people talk about you when someone brings up your name?

Have you ever done the type of research that Getz proposes in this chapter?

Are these questions even possible for you? Are they to difficult to face?

CHALLENGE: Take a look at the questions on page 28-29.